I’m not a religious person, but when I was trying to find some semblance of who I was and what I believed in, I dabbled in the church going experience. I tried out a few churches before settling on a church back in my hometown. Overall, I had a great time there. The people – kids at least – were very friendly and non-judgmental. I always had a wonderful time there, even after I realized I didn’t believe in God. However, there was one incident that caught me off-guard was one evening when we had a church function that was being put on by the youth group. I arrived with some friends and we began to set up. At this time, it was a mix of guys and girls who brought food and started setting up the decorations. When it came time to prepare the food, I saw that the only people who were doing anything to help were, well, girls. So I asked one of the girls why there were no boys cooking, and she said, as if it was obvious, “It’s not their place.” I was dumbfounded. My parents and even grandparents had shared cooking responsibilities for as long as I could remember (my dad actually cooked way more than my mom did), and I couldn’t fathom how someone could think any cooking that didn’t include a grill should be left up to the woman. It was then I had my first lesson in gender relations: these people seemed to be the most open-minded people I have ever met – there was even a lesbian that came to our group meetings – but they were still so rooted in the “man is the head of the house, and the women is his helpmate” philosophy, and they didn’t even see the injustice in that. The fact that the girl replied so nonchalantly about whose “place” is was to be in the kitchen is just shocking; it was the same girl whose dream it was to be a pediatrician. I never went back to that church. It wasn’t because I was an atheist and didn’t believe in God, it was because I just couldn’t help thinking that, in a way, these people were hypocrites: they preached open-minded acceptance of everybody and everything, but they couldn’t accept the simple fact that it was okay for men to be in the kitchen? That to men was more intolerable than any sin I could ever commit.
